You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
