is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
