this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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