idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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