so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
