I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
