He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize