What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize