Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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