and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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