Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
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I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pee on everything he values.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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