If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
