Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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