the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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