I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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