If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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