Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
