im so drunk with asians
where?
always
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
