yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
