Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Bring me that man meat
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
