I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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