Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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