I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
