it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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