Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
