my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize