Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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