Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I think i got beer on your cat.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize