Your mouth is God's brothel.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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