Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize