goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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