Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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