a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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