She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
