Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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