I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Small penises have feelings too.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Randomize
