oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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