i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
