So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
