i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
