Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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