It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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