My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
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Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
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I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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