This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
she peed on how many people?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
