You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Is it because I queefed?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza