i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
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We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
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I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.