just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
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It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
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I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.