Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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