I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
