You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
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Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize