Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
MIDGETS
????
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
