Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
