I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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