I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
