it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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