Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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