know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize