she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
