Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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