a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
