Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
